We’ve finished the first quarter of 2022, which means summer movie season is upon us with the release of Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness next week. Nowadays, the summer movie could be extended to April, March even late February when you look at the last 5-10 years and see the bigger movies that get released in those months. 2022 has already kicked off with some banger movies with The Batman, Scream or The Lost City. The month of April was set to be a stacked release with a variety of choices from indies, action movies, movies for kids or a good comedy. It’s the type of month that not only feels like summer time but a normal and casual movie where each week is a week of new releases. April, as stated earlier, is basically the summer movie season because by the time the month has wrapped school is out. I saw a lot of brand new movies this month (not everything) and this list will consist of all the new releases I saw ranked from worst to best. So let’s get started!
#11 MORBIUS
I almost don’t even want to count Morbius on this list. Not just because I think it’s the worst movie of the month of April (and perhaps of all time), but I technically saw it the Thursday night on the 31st of March. Be that as it may, Morbius was the first big movie to open the doors for the month of April and boy what a buzz kill to start things off. Jared Leto is a talented actor, and I still want to believe that because he’s won an Oscar for his role in Dallas Buyers Club. Other than his choice to be in Blade Runner 2049 and maybe House of Gucci, Leto has been in some sub-par and pretty horrendous movies with The Little Things, Suicide Squad and now with Morbius. This movie is so incredibly lousy, uninspiring and lifeless that doesn’t have a soul to it. Whether or not Morbius ends up as the worst movie of the year, there’s no denying that it’s the worst movie of April.
#10 MEMORY
It’s unfortunate that Memory ranks this low on the list because I wanted to find some enjoyment out of this. Despite what some might say about Liam Neeson’s latest action film run, he’s usually quite entertaining in these roles and there always a solid level of entertainment to be had. On the other hand, you can acknowledge the flaws and mistakes and look at them more as guilty pleasures. The latest action film with the great Liam Neeson, Memory, directed by respected filmmaker Martin Campbell doesn’t come in that level of being a guilty pleasure or fun. It’s a dull movie and it never did anything for me. Martin Campbell teaming up with Liam Neeson for an action movie seems like a solid idea, but with Neeson being the biggest star in this movie, he ultimately feels like an after thought for the entire movie.
#9 FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE
It’s sad to see another branch of the Harry Potter franchise see diminish in returns with the Fantastic Beasts both critically and financially. Where the first Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them was a spark in this world, it’s follow ups with The Crimes of Grindelwald and now The Secrets of Dumbledore have turned the trajectory on a down ward slope. On a personal level, I found The Secrets of Dumbledore to be my favorite one out of the entire Fantastic Beasts franchise. Maybe not as tight and as coherent as Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them was but The Secrets of Dumbledore felt more exciting. It expands the mythology in a unique way, I like the characters more in this adventure and James Newton Howard’s music is perhaps his best of all time. Jude Law got more to do and the replacement of Johnny Depp’s Grindelwald now being played by the magnificent Mads Mikkelsen might be the greatest actor swap in history. It’s hard to imagine how this franchise can wrap up with two more Fantastic Beasts movies, I’ve enjoyed the run of these movies thus far.
#8 THE BAD GUYS
Talk about an animated movie I had zero interest in until I heard the reactions it was getting from various critics. Despite it’s star loaded cast, it seemed to be a certain animated film that was specifically targeting kids. Not to say that’s a bad thing but maybe The Bad Guys wasn’t going to be an animated movie that adults would gravitate towards. It’s marketing sure felt that way, in regards to the quality of it because of how much of a throw away it came across from the trailers. Never underestimate a kids movie because, generally speaking, they have an audiences and every now and then the market should clamor for one. The Bad Guys is by no means a game changing animated movie, but it’s fun characters, unique animation and heist angle was highly engaging that kids will definitely enjoy and adults will be amused by.
#7 AMBULANCE
Like any director, Michael Bay has made bad days at the office. However, he has some great and weighted credit to his name with the Bad Boys movie, The Rock, the first Transformers and even 13 Hours. He usually nails a stylish looking movie with a great ensemble of actors and even the primal notion of working on a Michael Bay movie should be a real treat for anyones career. Ambulance might just be the best Michael Bay movie in years and what better way to have a Michael Bay movie authentically feel like a Michael Bay movie. From the 360 camera shots, the sunsets and beautifully and visceral action, Bay’s style is glossing all over this movie from the moment the movie starts to when it wraps up. Jake Gyllenhaal and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II are a great and believable brother relationship. As far as character work goes, it’s the best the movie has to offer. This was Bay basically playing around in his sandbox and you’re either on board with it or not.
#6 EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE
Now before anyone you bitch and complain why I have Everything Everywhere All at Once ranked this low let me preface by stating that I think this is a great movie. It’s bonkers, WILD, inventive and one of A24’s most exciting and original movies to date. I think no matter what role or movie she’s in, Michelle Yeoh will always deliver and it’s great to see her pop up in bigger movies like this and even Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. Make no mistake, Everything Everywhere All at Once is a great movie with terrific performances and a strong universal message, but if I’m being honest I did feel a bit fatigued with the whole multiverse angle in the movie. I also found the movie to have some real pacing problems, particularly towards the second act of the film. No movie is perfect and even some of the greatest movies of all time have flaws. Clearly, word of mouth on this movie is strong and well deserved, but I really don’t know of the majority of the mainstream audiences will dig this movie as much as hardcore cinephiles will.
#5 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2
Some will deem this controversial or others might completely disagree with this, which is totally fine. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is a better movie than Everything Everywhere All at Once. Clearly, these are two radically different movies, both of which I do think are great. But if you were to ask me if had to pick between two movies to see at a theater for one night and my two options were Everything Everywhere All at Once or Sonic the Hedgehog 2, I’m picking Sonic with no hesitation. Sonic 2 is funnier, charming and perhaps the best video game adaptation to date. The only problem this movie has is the ending felt a bit too stretched out but as an overall package, Sonic 2 delivers in ways that trump its predecessor, which was already a solid entry. Bringing back the original cast from the first movie but topping it with the addition of Idris Elba was genius.
#4 DUAL
A movie had no expectations for and one I only heard through various tweets, Dual was a complete surprise both on an effective and satirical level. Having seen The Art of Self-Defense, which was the previous movie that director Riley Stearns worked on, I knew that kind of style and sensibility he has when working as the director. Like The Art of Self-Defense, Dual is a dry and very monotoned movie that isn’t going to work for everyone but it surprisingly worked for me. It’s themes of combat, mixed in with the idea of having the chance to give life a second chance, while still being oddly humorous really worked and was executed well. There were so many emotions I took away from this movie; the feelings of regrets, jealousy, anger and deep frustration. The main ingredient that made this movie work even more was the performance by Karen Gillan by playing the same character but somehow playing a different version of herself.
#3 HATCHING
Talk about a movie that I guarantee you that mainstream audiences will not like and that movie is called Hatching. If we’re to make things even more challenging for it, Hatching doesn’t have any actor or actress that any casual person will be able to recognize. The way I see it, Hatching isn’t one of those types of movies because the story and the actual characters are what’s selling this movie. If Hatching were to have at least one big name, it probably wouldn’t hurt but the scale and structure of this movie felt organically rich by not having big name talent involved. Hatching is basically the terror and suspense of a great Alfred Hitchcock movie and the gore and terrific effects of a David Cronenberg movie. This is a grotesque, unique, effective and very absorbing horror movie with a powerful and allegorical message of one’s treatment to their own body. While there’s not any recognizable names, there is one name that we should all keep our eyes on and that’s Siiri Solalinna. Dear heavens Almighty, the performance she gives in this movie is mesmerizing. Her character draws you into the horror with its contrast of colors and atmosphere. I can’t recommend this movie enough.
#2 THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent is, quite literally, the best original comedy in years. What makes it even more special is that the entire movie feels like the most passionate and appreciative love letter of the career and the persona of Nicolas Cage. People forget that Nicolas Cage is an Oscar nominated and Oscar winning actor that definitely has great talent inside of him. Obviously, he had a run of poor choices or just poor performances. What this movie brilliantly does is that it honors his work from the highs and lows all in one great comedic package. Nicolas Cage and Pedro Pascal have some of the best bro-mance of not only this year but maybe of all time. It’s great to see Cage get his comeback role.
#1 THE NORTHMAN
Other than Morbius and Memory, the month of April has been a great month for movies. It’s been a long time where almost every week I was liking every movie I saw and what makes this month even better is that the selection is full of variety (as we stated earlier in this post). You could go out and see anything this month and for the most part I would recommend just about anything. There is one movie, however, that’s stuck with me for the last week. One movie that ceases to leave my thought process and one that will go down as one of the most important movies in my life and that would be Robert Eggers’ The Northman. We’ve got about 8 months left in 2022, so we still have plenty of movies to see, but it’s going to be a real challenge for me to like any other movie more than The Northman. This is the kind of epic storytelling that sticks with me for years. This is a brutal, savage and powerful movie that excels on capturing what Vikings were like. You look at the other side and you’ve got astonishing performances and writing that has Oscar written all over it. The way I see it, Eggers has made three different masterpieces in a row. Hoping his fourth will be another one.
Zane's take at the Cinema's 